Saturday, June 09, 2007

Whethering this Weather

May was surprisingly pleasant in Delhi. In fact it was pleasantly surprising, capricious and still on the 'balmy' side of hot. There were intermittent rains, dust storms, gorgeous azure skies and bright yellow sunshine. Now, factoring in the human company with this sweltering heat, I'm convinced this is the 8th ring of hell. The 9th had heretics frozen in ice, and it's a punishment I wouldn't mind too much for the time being.

Currently I am wasting away.

Panties as metaphors. I've been privy to some brilliant ripostes that alluded to one's panties. Panties are the last item of clothing that come off and the first that go on. That lends panties immense flexibility as a metaphor.

1.

X: 'The reason I'm not showing Suchandsuch the time of day is because I'm not over Misshimmuch. You know me da.......I'm no saint. If I was genuinely in the mood to mingle then my panties would drop more often than the stock market in a year. But I'm not, so as far as he is concerned, these *snap* are superglued on.'

Hallelujah! :)

2.

A: 'Is she still virginal?'

B: *Sigh......* 'Yes. That, 25 and mad. She likes to believe that her current bout of crotchetiness is all owing to the heat. I think it's because of her preserved virginity and it's chronic. ....... Look sex is a biological need, not a moral question. If you've entered in to adolescence and are now careening in to elderliness and are still a virgin then you're fucked but not in the way evolution intended. But to her, her panties are the last bastion of female moral rectitude and she'll be damned if they fall. Fucking eh......we'll be damned if they fall.'

A: 'The panties can stay on you know.......'

B: 'Hers? Or generally during the act?

A: 'Well hers are wedgied on buddy. ....'

B: 'You think Lata Mangeshkar's a virgin......'


Toodles poodles!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lata Mangeshkar??!! :P

One day outside the Andheri station:
Wonly 40 rupheez. Virginal DVDs. Laat hai sale hai.

TS said...

You are quite, quite mad.

I like women who wear flimsy knee length skirts and no Ps :-P

hedonistic hobo said...

how is lata mangeshkar a virgin? she hits all these high notes..........

Anonymous said...

i was totally thinking about that the other day. lata mangeshkar being a virgin, i mean. not panties - specifically.

asha isn't, right? she did rd burman.

but lata.

ps: this is when you KNOW for a fact that you definitely need a job and that unemployment is not a career option.

iz said...

No no. She's not a virgin. It's impossible. Am I missing the point of this post?

hedonistic hobo said...

no point izzy no point at all. though it is worthy enough of my time to pontificate over whether lata is a virgin or not,

she can't be you guys! who can she?!? like how???

hedonistic hobo said...

not who can she but er.... how can she be!?

Anonymous said...

Right now Panties, clit, cunt all seem to be meaningless to me.

I'm suffering from anhedonia.

Someb'dy bring me back to my unscruplous ways!!

Renovatio said...

Viriginal dvds...heh

Maybe the secret to singing like that is staying a virgin... oh wait, in that case rd burman never got lucky... and a ton of other husbands/lovers of performers... okay, not a ton, just a bunch...

Anonymous said...

The video of the previous post is so crappy that it brings a tsunami of loose (e)motions in me. But I still like it. :)

Jitender Saan said...

Busy little mind you've got there.

TS said...

El Hobo, what up/

Spider42 said...

hahahaha!!!
I must say, when you choose to be in a humourous frame, you never cease to amuse! love the metaphorical musings, im gonna try and remember this... though the thought of contemplating Lata M's sexual standings and practice is a mite disturbing to my fragile and already fractured mind...