I haven't written in ages. Thing is I bought new stationery, aside from lovely new pens I got a diary. It's mid-sized, most people would confuse it for an address book. But it's my personal diary. When I'm journeying through the city I keep grabbing at random flecks of ideas and images that billow through my head and forcing them on to paper. Most days you'll see me with my head phones on, head-bobbing and writing away furiously. Often just writing 'Beth Ditto, I love you!'. Because I do, wholly. I write in Hindi too these days. Been missing Hindi so..... Besides I'm over the school-time discomfiture of being seen with a Hindi novel and speaking in klisht Hindi. After meeting Europeans and Latin Americans who're charmingly proud of their mother tongue I find myself sniggering less over Indians with bad pro-NOUN-ciation. Who knew? Hobo had a moment of personal growth. A moment where years should have been but it's a start eh?
So since all the swill from my head has been drained in to my dairy, there's nothing to write about here. Plenty of things of interest have happened though-personally, professionally and in my favourite realm, Indian politics. I refer obviously to CPI and Nandigram and the campaign against ULFA. Vicious circles, raging fires. It's the same story. Otherwise I've been caught up with the sorry state of our cricketing 'skills', the fall of Tendulkar, the new year arriving as just any other day, Al-Aqsa ad Hamas' seriously moronic confrontation, the Australian Open. Also waiting for my birthday. 24. Old. Aged. Ripe. :) I can't be so casual and say the Nithari killings are interesting, morbidly fascinating perhaps when not heartbreakingly sad or just plain repulsive but this picture of the Indian forensic services cracked me. The dude on crutches (such is our Indian CSI) is holding the tees rupay ka magnifying glass up to his eye, 5 ft above the ground, perhaps he isn't wearing his hat because Sherlock Holmes took it back. ........ '
Translation: 'Sir! Eureka Sir! I...am....on....crutches because my leg is broken. Look Sir, you can see it through this magnifying glass. Can you see Sir?' 'Pandey, you're a motherfucking moron.'
And this is the image of our crime-fighters that swells our hearts with pride and joy, comfort and security. I can sleep better at night knowing how technologically well-equipped our police forces are and that I don't actually live in U.P. Or
And oh! BETH DITTO, I LOVE YOU!
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RANDOM-NESS
Maybe the blog needn't be deleted but the hedonistic hobo needs to reinvent herself. Inasmuch as the person she is here and the person she is don't need to be so different. And yet they will be because hobo is a character. Me, I am flesh and blood. By the way people if you ever tag me in a post, small caps please. Capital 'H' laga kar aap hobo ko kuchh zyaada aur completely unmerited izzat de rahe hain. I know you're just being grammatically correct but it feels strange. As strange as an Indian voice calling me by my first name as opposed to by my surname and a foreign voice addressing me by my surname instead of my first name. It's all about proximity baby. I even tried to et a boyfriend to call me by my surname he just looked at me blankly and said . 'I know you like your herbal remedies darling but I think they've finally gone to your head.'
The hedonistic hobo is cent percent me. She is me, I am she. The incidents are not rabbits pulled out of a magician's hat; the perspective I present is where the divergence between my perception and a perception I fashion for an audience arises. Naturally. So maybe I'll just return reborn. Whiplash Girl Child (wink wink Mr. Music Man). Not that I have a penchant for sadomasochism or anything. Though I confess to be extremely partial to 'shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather'. I would be partial if I didn't feel so guilty about owning leather. On vegetarianism however, my stance is non-negotiable. I may have said this before but I can't take vegetarians seriously. It's the only abiding prejudice I suffer from. It can't be dislodged. Vegetarians and virgins. By virgins I don't mean children. I mean 23 yr old chhuiee muiee titlees, the ma-ka-teeka laga kar ghar se nikley bhola ram variety of virgins. You don’t even need to have actually lost your virginity to evoke my disdain; it’s the ‘purity’ vibe that some people put on that I loathe. Not the genuine, dil-ka-saaf variety, the ones who radiate purity and niceness. But the ones you can sense are faking it. They’re even faking virginity I bet. And orgasms too. And piety.
24 comments:
Marxism has died, so has the communist manifesto world over. Ernetso Che Guevara has become a mere face on t-shirts and posters; a symbol of arbitrary and capricious razzmatazz. So CPI which once called itself the bastion of communalism is also facing an identity crisis. Today, there is not much difference in ideology between B.Bhattacharya and Manmohan Singh. The gist is that whatever ideology you might identify with…if the end result is that indigent remains exploited the philosophy is all redundant. Special Economic Zones can be very beneficial to the farmers and “aam adami”, but they also have the inherent tendency to cause lot of upheaval if they role of babus is not minimized and the farmers are not given their due. SEZs have the ability to empower deprived, but they also have the capacity to become the store houses of corruption and abattoirs of poor and destitute. The protests in Nandigram and Singur are the result of the political hegemony or due to the insipid uproar caused by opposite political parties can’t be told, but one thing is for sure that UPA government is playing a gamble with all his cards open.
Just for the information…SEZ were started in China and it has only 4 SEZ, while India is planning to have 400 in the coming few years.
The you-tube video is an old one, but still mind-boggling…I’ve named the guy “Usher-Singh” :))
I think the Raajkumar fans were actually protesting heart attacks. Burning public buses is the most logical thing to do when famous people die of heart attacks. Don't knock it before you try it.
Nithari killings are pretty interesting, as, I think the guy is suffering from Multiple-personality disorder and the servant who is cannibal might also be case of delusional disorder. Now if they were proved to be suffering from psychiatric illness, can they be hanged?
Misery is fascinating isn’t it?
Two Thumbs UP!!!
law and order is prevelant only in delhi and mumbai in india(maybe not even these 2 cities at times)
i did not get ,you are thankful you did not live in wp bagh,or is it the other way around?
Albert: Do regale us with your unique take on the theory of alienation.
Hobo: I'm pretty sloshed so will read your post very carefully and respond tomorrow. Meanwhile, I despise women born in 1986 [and onwards]. How dare they have flawless skin and perky boobs?
hey ho hobo! welcome back. and wow. long post. will read and respond once i go back and read it :)
how've you been otherwise?
Beware of jealousy[m'lady(if i don't use the term too loosely)], 'tis the green eyed monster that doth mock the meet it feeds on.
I have lost my relationship with pen and paper. So envy yours. I am shackled by my need to stare at the cold monitor and blog from work.
Backwards.
@Iz: I've got to confess that I find it much easier to write on my laptop than on pen and paper. If I was sending snail mail out to you folks instead I promise ye the posts would not be this long. It's tiring da! And then you gottta scribble out stuff you re-write. There's no spellcheck either. ow the fuck did my parents do their PhDs yaar!? My handwriting too is the stuff that would make your blood curl.
@Barrycuda: How are you my lurrvely? Just for that comment I name ye Prissy. As in Prissy from 'Gone with the Wind'.
@Philosopher: I've been well. Got to meet Szerlem. Lovely girl who liked the blues. I like people who appreciate my personal sanctum, Tuesday night blues. And hullo! How are you?
@Surly Girl: It's OK they aint all that they cut out to be. Yday the two kiddies who'd been inspiring my envy asked me 'What is a Bobbit'? It happened in 1991 feckers!! But kids these days, can't read a book, can't hold a conversation.
No these two are alright, bloody entertaining actually. Sharp too but when they ask me questions like 'What is a Bobbit?' or 'You were alive during Operation Bluestar'? Alive and kicking Bhindrawaale's ass! Idiot. First of all, I was 1 year old. Secondly he was born two years later!!
@IR: Born, bred and curdled in South Delhi sir. Thank you very much.
@Barrycuda, again: My money's on Federer, personally I'd rather be but for now it shall be my money. And did you read about the clash between Serbian and Croation players at the Aussie Open? Hehehe.....People everywhere are so stupid no. Who would have thunk it, tennis hooligans!
@Whitelight: For what? Incidentally have you ever listened to much of Kasabian? Any suggestions on what to look for?
@Trussed Bull: No it is not unless it is mine. As for Nithari, it's amazing again that both the media and the cops just ignored so many kids going missing from the same village. This isn't surprising and it would happen anywhere in the world but I guess anywhere in the world to get some sympathy and concern you got to be a CEO's son.
@Raajkumar: :) You're right. If Beth Ditto dies, of hypertension most likely, I'll try and turn back time.
@Albert: Manmohan Singh has an ideology? I thought he only had the IMF and the WB holding a gun to his head and Sonia holding one up his arse.
For letting ‘Venus in Furs’ inspire you so much. Ha ha ha……… I don’t blame you.
BTW, Kasabian is ok. Dance rock stuff. If you want to sample some real dance rock get hold of The Clash’s Combat Rock or some Primal Scream.
... learnt so mcuh just from that one post (& comments) ... from politics to sport to books to history
And you met Szerlem?? wow she seemed to be globe-trotting.
PS nice to hear back from you
PPS the weather is sad today, but it has not succeeded in depressing me yet
So finally enlightenment did dawn on you ... I mean about the US open and first name thing :)
How does one delete or edit a comment after posting it(if one can), I mean on one's blog. I don’t have foggiest of idea :(
Hmmm...
I think my need for grammatical accuracy surpasses your need for less izzat.
It's great to reinvent yourself, you must.
Ditto Iz on the blog from work theory (what else CAN you do there anyway?!?)
Albert needs therapy... ;)
Raajkumar is to Karnataka what Rajnikant is to TN. When Veerappan had kidnapped him, all schools and colleges were closed for 101 days.
And don't say anything about anyone called Bhola Ram okay? I met a 'Bholu' (I'm guessing thats close enough to qualify) who is definitely a perfectly sane, pure virgin. See for yourself... :)
i love the translation of "shut up pandey "...
suddenly nationalist ?
i like it better when you write dirty ;)
hahahha@therapy
TS, you know what… you are funny enough to be called a fool! ;-)
Btw, what is pure virgin? ...redundant!?!? :)
Hobo, how does one delete comments from one’s own blog? I need to delete the spam comments, but I don’t have foggiest of idea of how to go about doing it…
Yay!! Finally, a new post!
And thank goodness you decided not to delete the blog!
Btw, did you make it to the RAA?
Yay!! Finally, a new post!
And thank goodness you decided not to delete the blog!
Btw, did you make it to the RAA?
Dear Hobo,
Your bit about the technological prowess of the Indian police had me and half the office in splits all day. But in the interest of fairness, my limited experience has shown me that their crude methods are usually effective. Just ask anyone who's made it out of Crime Branch HQ in Gaekwad Haveli.
So you're "finding" yourself, huh? One tinny bit at a time. Embarassed to read a Hindi novel? Hobo, m'luv, you and I are Macaulay's Children. Accepting that is also part of your "growing-up." Wot say? But don't get me wrong, feel free and proud to read as many novels, newspapers, poetry &c &c in as many vernacular languages as you can. I'm not as big an idiot as I pretend to be; I know that reading and writing in different languages is a superb workout for the brain. And of course, balm for the soul. So, carry on!
But please, don't do this song and dance about it...
Oh, the North-East.
Yeah, fuck them all. Commie bastard sonsofbitches. Enough is fucking enough. I say we either turn the bastards over to the tender mercies of the chinks; or, we send in our boys in green, decimate the place, bring it to heel, and then turn it into a giant free-trade zone with casinos, brothels and the whole nine yards of capitalism. With a bit of change in their pockets, and a lot of weed in their brains, I doubt if their sporadic and amateurish insurgency will last a week.
That's it for the mo', will be back with more venom later.
PS: Am proposing resurrecting Genghis Khan. Am convinced that only the Great Khan can help us in this clash of civilizations. Propose to turn over every cheerleader across this noble land to the Kahn in order to obtain his support.
and slowly but surely, another member of the beloved hedonistic flock drops out of the race. which leaves me with not many women to giggle wickedly to, or discuss rather intimate things piss-drunk on a thursday evening. oh well, age has to catch up with me too someday, i s'pose. but nooooooo hobo, you were the last bastion of hope!
ps: oy, stop insulting me on my own blog, dude.
@albert: dude on the blogger dashboard there's the tab for 'posting' with three sub-tabs. a. create b. edit posts and c. moderate comments. go to c. it should turn up a list of comments and you can then select which ones to delete.
@TS: no bholas or bholis for me thank you.
@whitelight: i don't like primal scream at all and did grow tired of kasabian too. hmm will have to find something else in the meantime BETH DITTO I LOVE YOU!!!
@bricks: thank you dahlink where you be? the weather was ferocious last night. first world mien bhi aandhi toofan bijli gayab kar deti hain.
@inexile: you like when girls talk dirty biatch!
@szerlem: bebe bebe bebe bebe i wish we'd had more time together. i haven't yet made it to the RAA but thansk for the passes. will go on the day after my budday with Zivania.
@barrykutta: take this racist tripe off my blog! i'm glad the india csi picture amused. it still cracks me up. did you check out the video? and do check out the link i sent you in the morning.
So I finally read your post, as promised. :)
Pandey, you're a motherfucking moron
Bwahahahaha. You would do very well translating hindi for a living, I grant you that much!
And gosh, that list of envyisms (New Word of the Day #12403)? Now I know you can do nothing about not being born in 1986, but the other stuff is surely dealt with?
Aha. You met up with Szerelem? The blog world gets smaller each passing day.. Where's the mystery and the suspense of not knowing who you're talking to, gone? =)
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